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| Photo by Eileen Pan |
I don't always know what to say.
I'm not always sure about what I write.
Hell, I'd say a large majority of the time when I press that Publish button I'm sure that I will die of embarrassment over something I've divulged in my writing.
I think about everyone who may read it. I think about friends and family. I think about strangers. I think about coworkers or potential new bosses or grade-school crushes. I think, "Is what I publish who I am? And if so, is what I publish okay to share?" But I also think, "Someone else feels this way too."
It is scary to admit that even though I am a happy, bubbly person who loves Disney movies, ice cream, and sunshine, I am more multi-dimensional than that. I am also someone who thinks, feels and processes deeply. In my head and in my heart are an elaborate concoction of laughter, sadness, gratitude, and fear on any given day. Of lightness, brightness, anxiety, and uncertainty. Doubt and desire for more.
But, beyond the fear of judgment and embarrassment, there is a constant reminder that I am not alone. That all of those people I fear—the friend, the stranger, the coworker—they struggle too. They have dark moments too. They are my inspiration to not be defined by my vulnerabilities, nor hindered by them. I post little snippets of my soul, some lighter than others, because I am human and my emotions are multi-faceted and I know sharing them is helping someone, somewhere, feel less lost.
So to you, the reader that read this and thought, "Damn, get this girl a book deal"—stop it. You are too kind. I couldn't possibly. (But, like, holler at me if you've got an in someplace. 😏)
And to you, the reader that reads this and has a heavy heart today, for whatever reason (or perhaps no reason at all), I see you. I feel you. And you're doing great.
Until next time,
Emma
